This Master of Disguise knows how to master gayness too.

June 11, 2017

As I mentioned on my previous topic, I have been haunted all my life by this “gay phenomenon” as I would like to call it. This is not a natural phenomenon what I have witnessed in my relationships. I actually knew when someone was gay, right from the moment we met, even though I was not aware or educated about what this was. These boys tried to act normal and even pursue me to love them, and I did, but every time I hugged them I felt as if I was hugging a mother or a sister. I did not even feel like hugging a brother, based on their masculine appearances. So, I always questioned myself and my senses to the fact that I did not feel attracted to them as my opposite, male-female. I thought there was something wrong with me. But then, there were other guys I met that at some point in life suddenly turned gay, just like someone would turn a switch on and off.  This seemed suspicious to me, especially for one guy who was the most handsome and the most popular guy in the bunch, and this scared me a lot because it was like a slap on my face. It was as if someone or something was constantly checking up on me, saying, “Do you like this guy? Oh you do? Oh well, there he goes. He is not The guy anymore, he is gay… Mwahahaha…” The joker, this must be the joke of the joker, I say, and I want to find out who is hiding behind that mask of a joker, I really do, but I know for sure I will not like that face already, and this is why the joker always wears a mask. He knows already how much I hate his real face.

So to this master of disguise, the Joker, I wrote an email one day, because it seems to me, he is the one who had mastered the art of gayness. I messaged him with the hope that he would enlighten me about this matter. This guy, even though he is, or to be more precise he is not but the image that he represents once was that of a dream boy of every single girl on this planet, including myself who’s hard to please and can’t make up my mind about who I like the most, well, this guy turned gay at some point too. Yes I dared to write him a message, asking for an opportunity to interview him as part of my studies in Psychology in relation to Homosexuality and Personality Disorders, because based on Freud’s theory these two are related. Nope, I do not want to support Freud but I do not want to dismiss his theory either. I wanted to find the truth, that’s all. So I sent this message to this famous person, famous in every single meaning of the word, for good and bad, because I wanted to find out not only whether Freud was right, but also why those guys who I liked at different points in my life and seemed to always get my attention turned gay at some point?  You see dear reader, those boys (not me) initiated the game doing everything possible and impossible to get my attention, but then, as soon as I started paying attention to them, and even started liking them, they all of a sudden turned gay. This cannot be a coincidence anymore. Why would that be? I wanted to ask this famous “person” because he seems to know a lot about this art of gayness, but this person has no balls to face me and my questions. So no interview is granted at this point, and will never be I am afraid, because he or she, or IT is the master of disguise.


The Fidget spinners

June 6, 2017

I just watched the last video of one of my favorite Youtubers and I was bummed out. It was about Fidget Spinners and I admired the fact that he decided to take a different approach and instead of bashing and making fun of fidget spinners, like everyone else does, he decided to defend them instead. I can relate to that because I often have those “epiphany” moments as this youtuber called it. I often do, and take the side of the weaker even knowing that the weaker is the intruder, like ants in my house for example. I think I get this from dad’s side. My dad was upset with himself once, and just could not shake it off his head for awhile that when he once saw some ants coming into our home from a crack on the wall he used plaster and closed the crack. The next day our city was hit by a wave of earthquake and my dad realized that ants were trying to get out before the earthquake hit, so that they would not be trapped. Thanks dad, now I feel sorry for those ants too and cannot make up my mind to either hate or love what may hurt me.

Anyhow, back to the spinner. The reason I was bummed out by this video was the fact that this Youtuber (did I mentioned he was my favorite one so far?), well, he decided to all of a sudden go all political and defend the whole generation from the older generations who make fun of younger generations for the toys and games they play and the way they define fun. I did not see any reason on making this defense because clearly a new generation will always make fun or question the choices and decisions of the previous generations because if we do not then it means that we do not need to change anything and we do not need to move forward. We would not need to make fun of anything about the previous generations, or question their decisions if things would be perfect, because we would be satisfied with how things are. But this is not the case. We are not satisfied with how things are. So, to get rid of stupid things and sort out the good ideas from the bad ones we must have some fun in the process and make fun of the stupid ideas. Above all, we are not making fun of the generation per se; we are making fun of ideas.

If indeed someone makes fun of the whole generation for the way the generation plays and finds certain toys fun to play with, one has to be completely stupid to do so, because it is not the young generation that owns the factory that produces the fidget spinners and then market those spinners and advertises those to our little children who have nothing better to do with their free time and hands but to spin the fidget spinner. So, what is the point of defending the young generation as if the young generation was to blame for producing them? The young generation is not to blame, in fact, the young generation is the victim. Hence no need to blame them and then defend them.

If you want to blame someone, then blame the older generation that created these toys and the parents who buy these because parents are too busy to deal with their children. Therefore, anything that could keep children busy and preoccupied, even a fidget spinner, will do.

The fact that fidget spinners exist do not bother me at all. That Pokemon go game made some people go crazy to the point that they did not mind crashing into the traffic just to catch the Pokemon, that did not bother me either. These stupid games do not bother me because I pay attention to my own children and do not allow TV to babysit them, but instead I guide them myself and educate them about what is right and what is wrong. I do not depend on games to teach my children. So none of these bothered me, but what bothered me this morning was the fact that I lost my favorite youtuber. I can’t believe it? I always lose what I like. For some reason every one I liked or loved in life either died, became an idiot at some point or suddenly turned gay. What the heck I ask, what the heck? I understand death and idiotic state because these are well known phases of life cycle, but gayness? What the heck? Do not get me wrong, I have nothing against those who feel naturally that way. I only question why is this phenomenon haunting me all my life.



Why I Blog

March 16, 2017


The most terrifying moment is when you realize that you write on your blog to help others by sharing your experience and your ideas, or to share what have helped you to overcome your struggles so that others in the same situations may do the same, but most of the bloggers community is not here for the same reason as you.  That was the terrifying realization of this morning. It is sad, so sad to see that I was following the most narcissistic bloggers, who share “Great News” with you only to find out that these “Great News” were all about them, how awesome they are, how many likes they get, how many followers they have, and that awesomeness is because of idiots like you and me. I felt like shooting myself in the head this morning because of the “Great News” this blogger shared with us. Because it was all about her, or him in other cases, and never about the reader.

I do write and indeed share many personal stories, because either they are funny and serve as ice breakers, or they are related to a lesson I’ve learned. These personal stories make the story of my life reachable, touchable, and doable. These personal stories depict a real struggle of a real person, and how I got over them. My stories and posts are never  about general ideas; they are not some love poems that have no meaning or lesson, or that are not based on something that reflects our reality. My stories are real because I am real, and I speak of real issues. I am a down to earth person and I speak to those like myself, the down to earth humans. Yet, these bloggers that constantly win, who knows what the f**k they win, which I don’t give a sh*t, they write anything, about anything, that has no meaning, no ending, no moral of the story, no lesson learned. They win because they speak as if they speak directly to you, but in fact they speak to no one in particular, and they leave you wonder. If you do not realize their trick soon enough, you’ll get lost trying to figure them out, or what the h**l they are saying. These kind of bloggers, the lair’s award winners, they use big words, complicated words even, and big phrases that make no logical sense, and the rest of us who are real and can really make use of our brains and our reasoning, we keep scratching our heads, trying to figure out what are they rumbling about, and thinking, WTF?

I finally realized that being a reasonable being, sometimes you forget that there are others who call themselves “humans” that indeed make no sense at all, and I should not waste my time figuring out how on earth they have followers, because they do not. These followers and the likes they get, are all machine and computer generated, and that is why they make no sense. Indeed the blogger is a real person, who sadly enough sold their identity to someone or something who promised them money or fame. Either way, they are doomed, and they are not the real winners. Well, folks, as these bloggers win these awards by selling their souls, I just sit here and feel sad for them and their followers.

I am not here to win awards or follow empty shells, so I remove myself from the list of their followers every time a blogger like this shares these “Great News” of how stupid we are to follow them. I remove myself not because I envy them, because to envy means I had to first try to win these awards, but I don’t give a damn about these wins. I remove myself, because I am not an empty shell, or an idiot. I am a real person and want to connect with real people who understand me and can make use of my stories and ideas that I share in my blog. And you my dear reader do not need to let me know that I have been a great help to you. The best award for me is to pay it forward. Of course, I would expect people to respect the authenticity of my lessons and ideas, I would expect to be given the credits for what they use or share from my blog and books, but I do not need anyone to write back at me and tell me how great I am. I do not do well with complements, because to me complements have always been useless and superficial. The best complement for me would be the change this blog can bring in someone’s perspective or beliefs, which is real Good News for the reader, not for me. The best compliment or award to me would be when someone’s life changes for the better because they made used of some of the ideas I share in my books and in this blog. A simple and quiet thank you, inside your head, will reach me for sure, and that is the best reward I could ever receive. Universe has very strange ways in connecting us (well not so strange if you knew the physics behind it). So rest assure I will receive your good thoughts about how my stories and life lessons helped you. That’s what my blog is about. This blog is not to please my ego, but to help anyone that I can reach and connect with. 

Time to start thinking and reason again

January 6, 2017


I found this post today and it put me in deep thoughts. I decided to write and say something about it right away. I felt that this is indeed an important and urgent matter above all. (image is posted by I love Mathematics page on FaceBook.

I could not stop laughing at how accurate this post is, and how ridiculous teaching mathematics has become over the years. But only at the last sentence of this post my smile froze, because sadly our kids are way beyond reality, living in imaginary worlds of pokemon, star-wars, hogwarts and so on. It is never wrong to have imagination, vivid imagination even, but to get them so hooked up in those other realities is a crime against this earth and humanity itself. They will grow up thinking that it is OK to battle, pokemon battle all the time. It is OK to kill others, because they do no die, they just faint or go to sleep, it is cool to stub people with swords, especially if they are colorful, it is OK, everything is OK because nothing truly affects our kids anymore than loosing their games and their battles. We are raising a race of narcissists not a human race anymore, and it feels natural to us now because this kind of mentality is everywhere, in the games we buy, in the medias, movies, shows. This reality of a narcissistic individual, living in his own world, fighting and winning battles without worrying about the consequences is instilled in us slowly slowly over the years, in every possible ways. It started by dumb-ing down the education system first, then by increasing the influence of media and social media, then by making parents too busy to control their kids behavior, and then by increasing the electronic games.
I had such a hard time finding good board games for my kids this year. I miss sitting down on the floor and playing truth or dare with them, as I used to do. I got busy and they surely got busy too with their electronic worlds. Think carefully parents, and pay attention to your kids, Do not let them be hooked on imaginary worlds, because as they grow up they will start believing in hokes pokes idea, and start thinking like they think about the electronic games, that it is OK to destroy this reality, and it is OK to destroy earth, because this is just a matrix reality we live in, this is not the physical reality, They will grow up thinking that by destroying our own reality they will get to the next level in the game.

Yes, my laugh, and my smile and my heart froze when I read the last sentence. Parents wake up, pay attention to your children. I will start doing my job more seriously too, that of a parenting. My wish and my plans were to move higher in career this year as my children are becoming more independent, but now, I think I still have to work harder, even harder than before as a parent, to shorten even more and control my children’s time on electronics and games, to bring them back, more and more, into this reality. To teach them more about this world. I need to do this myself, as the school cannot do all the work. Time to wake up our children folks and reteach them how to be humans. This is the year. Let’s do it.


It was Eros folks, not Narcissus. The only weapon he uses is Lust=Deception.


December 21, 2016
I loved reading this article. All the points made are quite correct,
here is the link: The Language Narcissists Use to Manipulate and Traumatize their Victims

I totally support the fact that Narcissism not only has become a common problem nowadays, but also it is hard to pin point it as a mental or personality disorder because sometimes people just act that way as a revenge of what others had done to them, or that it seems cool that others do it and get rewards because of this typical behavior so why not copycat these Narcissistic people. So I find it that it is important to speak about this disorder and become aware of it, and specially how to deal with it.

However, I do not agree with the name linked to this personality disorder. I have mentioned it in my previous posts, but I just want to go over the facts again as why this personality disorder should not be called Narcissistic Personality Disorder but instead it should be called Erotistic Personality Disorder, and here is my argument for this.

The Narcissisus in the Greek story did not need to manipulate the victims and did not in fact need or asked for anyone’s attention. As this ancient story goes, he was very happy on his own and admired himself. Hence, he did not need others to admire him, and did not draw any pleasure from other people’s attention. Recall the story when he told Echo, “I rather die than be touched by you.” No Narcissist was introverted and very reserved and selective in love. He was looking, according to other versions of the same story, he was looking for his sister, who he believed was in the other side of the pond, being held hostage by Eros. He fell in love with his sister and was deceived by Eros that he could save her, without knowing that Eros was her kidnapper. Hence, as Narcissus believed that he would rescue his lover, he obviously drown himself and died. That was all Eros plan to take revenge for an earlier insult by Narcissus, when Eros girlfriend left him for she fell in love with Narcissus. Does this story make sense now? Of course. Hence, Eros is the one who wants to manipulate his victims to give him love and attention, Eros is the one who shoots people with arrows to make them fall in love with the wrong person, because he just cannot stand the fact that he was rejected. Eros was the problem in our life, all along. Eros makes sex seem like is love. When it’s true love you don’t need chemicals, alcohol, drugs, porn or other stimulants to fall in love, you just fall in love while looking at each other’s eyes and with just one simple genuine kiss. Falling in love is a natural process of human spirit and human body just craves it in the form of sex and affection. So, what can we conclude then? What kind of monster is Eros for making us believe in lust instead of love? I would say, this monster is definitely not from this world. He does not belong here, and this mental and personality disorder must be called Erotic Personality Disorder, not Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

Oh Please! Do not act as if you know math when you do not. Becoming aware of pseudo-experts.

December 19, 2016

Found these video on the internet that talks about paradox in mathematics. I could not believe it that people keep going on and on to prove the argument when they should have stopped right from the beginning. But, what scared me more and which prompted me to address this fact is that they use these mathematical paradoxes in physics. And that is not true at all, and if they do then physics is no longer physics, but just another circuit of clowns like religion is.

so here is the link, and following is my argument why their logic is wrong.

The fundamental mistake is in the fact that they assume that the sequences of the numbers will never end, which theoretically it should not, however, if you stop the sequence of numbers at any point you will never get the paradoxical answer. Hence, assuming that numbers do not end, and then assuming that series of numbers we are adding or subtracting do not end, and also (the biggest mistake in the argument) assuming that we can apply on this infinite sets of numbers the same rules that would apply to finite sets of numbers then this will screw up the answers altogether with their mathematical logic and the universe they apply it to.

The fact that is not taken is consideration is that S= S1=S2= infinite, because all the series of numbers if you would be able to add them up (which you cannot) will always be equal to infinite. Hence, S/2 or S/4 are not 1/2 or 1/4, but will again be equal to infinite. So whatever you do with infinite number of numbers the answer will never be an finite number, but always an infinite number.

I already taught this fact to my children when my son was 10 and my youngest daughter was 5 and the greatest debate among these two one morning was whether Infinite +1= Infinite (Jenna’s argument) while Jon’s argument was that she should not even attempt to do any calculations of such nature because infinite is just a symbol, not a number. They came to me for an answer of who was right. This was on New Years morning at 9 am on January 1st 2014. I answered that they were both right, mathematically and scientifically. If you use Jenna’s argument then you will never get these stupid answers as in this video, but if you listen to Jon’s argument you will not even tempt to do such stupid things in the first place. Go figure, two children, one five and one ten, three years ago already figured what is wrong with the world. I am proud of my children but also sad that they would have to deal with so much deception.

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