We have an expression in Albania, “For whom I must cry first?” (Bir Selman i nenes, ke te qaj me pare), which pretty much sums up the fact that when everything goes wrong, who do you blame, the idiot or the ignorant. You can’t blame the idiot of course because idiot is incapable of knowing right from wrong, and you can’t blame the ignorant either because based on his limited knowledge he is doing the right thing. Then who is to blame? Some people may say that no one is to blame, and often I say that too, and I feel that I should explain myself because in reality it does not feel right at all to allow the blame to live among us without giving it a name, or worse, giving it multiple names. There is something wrong and that has to be labeled, so that we would stop labeling  or killing one another.

I often mention in my posts that we can use many perspectives to look at any situation, or any problem that matters to us, and I truly mean it. Changing the sides to look at our problems from our opponent’s point of view, would enable us to realize that there is no right or wrong way to such arguments, but only different perspectives. Therefore, the solution to our problems, which divide us into opposite sides, cannot be found by forcing our views and opinions onto other people, but instead can be found by understanding the other side’s views, by understanding their feelings, their situation, and their issues. Basically, peace is reached from understanding the other side, after walking in their shoes. It seems quite logical to me that if we would apply this strategy then our conflicts would be easily resolved. However, no one has ever said to their opponent, “Here are my shoes. Try them on first and then let’s talk.” No one has ever said that, because everyone believes, and automatically assumes that others are wrong and one is right. Also, another reason that no one has ever offered their shoes to the public is that by giving away your shoes would make you vulnerable for awhile. It’s like standing naked in front of everyone as they put on your shoes to judge your situation by noticing all the holes in your shoes and the trouble you go through. But even if someone would offer their shoes to us, we would not want other people’s shoes. We would run away saying, “No thank you, I don’t want your shoes. I got my own.” So how can we resolve our conflicts, if we keep looking at others as our enemies when they have a different opinion from us? How can we resolve any issue if we keep applying the same logic that we have always applied, “With me, or against me?” We cannot, and we will never resolve any conflict if we continue to blame the hand for stealing the apple, instead of the brain for ordering it, or the stomach that forced the brain to order the hand to steal the apple. It’s easy to blame what we can see than to blame something we cannot see.

I struggled with this idea of invisible entities for about six years now; the idea of angels and demons that can either help us or deceive us. I understand that there are invisible forces, forms of life, or energies that can affect us, affect our thinking, emotions, and therefore affect the decisions we make. These forces also affect others’ decisions in the same way, and often these invisible forces create big messes in our lives and unnecessary conflicts. Religious people named these dark forces as demons, others call them shadows. Jung and other psychologists of his era called them archetypes. But the problem is, we cannot see them face to face and we do not know their true nature. I have come in contact with their deeds many times during my life. I have felt their energy, and I have experienced strange things, that could not explain before, but I did not rush into worshiping or fearing them. I kept looking for explanations, not about what these forces were, but mostly what do they want from us. And as I was trying to understand their motives and finding reasonable justifications  for their interference in my life, I experienced with horror how people I’ve trusted transformed in front of my eyes in a matter of seconds. In a matter of seconds, all that I knew was good in my life turned bitter and sour. Things just slipped out of my hands, and I had no control over them, nor could I blame these people. I knew I was dealing with invisible forces, and I felt like crying out loud, “Why God why? Why do we have to fight demons? We cannot see them, so why am I involved in a war that it’s not fair, and it’s not mine to fight? I’m a human, so why should I be involved and become aware of such forces if I can do nothing about them? Shouldn’t angels fight demons? Invisibles fight the invisibles?” I wanted to give up on writing the book I was writing at the time about the 12 laws of antimatter. I just couldn’t see the point of it. I questioned, what good the awareness about the 12 laws of antimatter could bring for people, if these invisible entities make us react and over react in such a way that we voluntarily throw ourselves in the turmoil of these laws, becoming a victim of our actions? Indeed, I could not see the point of being involved in a war that is not our responsibility, because we humans, stupid or not, ignorant or not, idiots or not, we do not go around and purposely hurt one another. Humans are curious in nature and someone who is curious is also full of joy, and that is what makes us curious in the first place, the joy that comes from discovering new things. This brings excitement for us. Hence, in our core, we humans are curious and cheerful, and if left alone to live our life free of the dark forces, we would indeed be like curious little children full of joyful, and maybe helpless sometimes, but never evil. I know that anyone can prove me wrong right now, by listing a huge arsenal of facts from history on how humans kill one another, on how humans mass murder and massacre other humans. In fact even today these horrible things continue to occur. Just today, after seeing the pictures of the innocent and terrorized children in Syria, I cried out loud again, “Why God, why? Why the children? This must stop now.” And I know better than to cry like this, helplessly asking God to fix things for us, or blaming God for allowing such massacres to happen, but, I could not help it.

I believe in God as energy, or as the body of the whole universe better say, that has mass and energy, that has matter and antimatter, and things are set by its consciousness to follow patterns, and rhythms, and laws. Therefore, it makes sense to argue that once something in those patterns is broken, something in the cause-effect chain is distorted, or if some actions (supposed to take place earlier as planned) are delayed, then unnecessary ripples of such displaced energy will produce a range of unnecessary, uncomfortable, and negative events. Based on this logic, I know that I should not ask God or Universe, why It allowed this or that to happen. I knew I should not ask these questions, because this is like the cells of my stomach crying out loud and questioning me as why was I overeating and made them work overtime for example; or like my liver, loaded with alcohol after a night out drinking with friends would ask me why did I drink and why did I allow that to happen to the liver; or why do I fill my lungs with black smoke every time I decide to smoke instead of meditating. All that happens to my body, I can feel it, but I cannot stop it, because it is not the brain that makes me do all the wrong things. My brain is aware of my wrong habits, and my reasoning is clear enough to know right from wrong. I know I should not over eat, should not drink, should not smoke, yet, something in my body still makes me crave all the wrong things despite the obvious danger. One cannot self-talk his/her body out of these habits, because it’s not that the individual is lacking reasoning, even though reasoning and self-talk may help for a short period of time. The problem is in the disarrayed endocrine system, which can affect the brain and nervous system more than the brain can affect the endocrine system. Hormones produced in our body are as a result of the chemical reactions, and chemical reactions are often triggered by outside agents, like food, drink, fluoride, or stress, that can interfere with our body’s normal functioning. It’s useless to rely only on the power of our mind or on our will power to control the effect of these outside invisible forces, just like it’s useless trying to stop our body from convulsing, by using our mind or will power, after being shot by a stun gun. We must admit that it’s not our brain, or our reasoning, or even our will power to blame, but in fact, it is in what we are being fed as well as the interruption of our energy flows that can cause us to act irrationally and over emotional. In the same way, God or the universe, may not hear my cry, and should not be the one to blame for allowing the mass murder of its own creations. Nevertheless, my cry and your cry for justice and help, can bring awareness to the universal consciousness that things are not quite right here, at this corner of the universe, and actions must be taken right away to heal the pain of humans and earth. That is the only reasonable thing we humans can always do without a fail, to raise that little voice inside our minds when we speak to the universal consciousness; to raise our level of consciousness and understand that sometimes we must ask for help and not assume that we can fix  or will be able to fix everything that could go wrong in the world.

It’s time to understand now that sometimes, taking justice in our own hands could be the worst thing we could do to ourselves as a human race, because in the process of seeking justice we may hurt other innocent human souls instead of the true source of our troubles. These invisible forces, archetypes, demons, or shadows, whatever you may call them, are real, and I never understood their nature, but I know that they fear me, they fear my trust in the justice coming from above. I know that they fear my strong belief in the fact that if I call the universal consciousness for help, if I call upon this consciousness to wake up and give me a hand during my struggles, then things will start falling into their right places. I know that you too can help the universal consciousness realizing that something is not right with the world today. I would suggest to not give ourselves permission in believing that we can understand everything, or to convince ourselves that we know all that is going on in the world or in other people’s minds. I would not permit myself, for example, in telling anyone what to do in regards to those invisible forces and mischievous entities that are affecting our individual and collective consciousness, and I would not judge others either, because I have accepted that I am limited in my knowledge. My vision is limited like my knowledge, because I am just a human and well aware of these limitations, and that’s what makes me a threat to these invisible forces, the awareness of my limitations. They want us to believe that one as an individual is special and powerful, or that one has great potential if one accepts them to be one’s guide. This way, these entities want to make us believe that other human beings are to blame but we as individuals are better than the rest. Their well-known, ancient strategy is “divide and conquer,” by making us believe that we humans fear and so we kill, we humans want money and luxury and so we steal, we humans want power and so we oppress others, but in reality we do all that because we are played. I realized this six years ago when I cried out loud in pain, asking the universal consciousness to leave alone, to leave me out of this unfair war with forces and entities that I cannot see and I cannot prove or explain their existence without first trying to change people’s opinion on what is scientifically known as dark matter. Changing people’s minds on religious or scientific matters seemed like a huge step for me, and I did not like the responsibility, because I knew that either side would call me crazy. Despite the fact that I did not want to be involved in anything that had to do with uncertainty, or invisible forces, during the course of six years I came to realize that this war may not be ours to fight but we humans are in the middle of it anyhow. Trying to fight the invisible forces seems just as ridiculous as the Don Quixote fighting with the windmills, however, we cannot pretend that they do not exist either. These forces will continue to affect us, because they are real and present. Either fighting or ignoring these invisible forces is not the right solution because we will always end up being the victims in this invisible war. It’s time to change our strategy.

The most effective solution that can work, which has worked the magic for me in keeping me sane, grounded, helped me resisting the urge to blame other humans, and stopped me from seeking revenge when hurt by others, the only way that helps me live in peace with myself, with my consciousness and everyone else around me, that enables me to live life moment by moment and enjoy life even when it seems impossible, is to become aware of our limitations. How do I do it that I keep love in my heart rather than hate, even after all that I’ve been through? How do I do it that I keep peace in my mind rather than guilt and blame?  I do this by admitting first that there is more to it than what reaches my eyes. I also admit to myself that I am not powerful enough to know what to do and how to fight these forces. Above all, I do not give myself permission to believe that by fighting, judging, or hurting another human being  I would affect in any way these invisible forces that operate through humans. I do my best to understand my human friends and their reasons for their actions and arguments. I do my best to bring in them the awareness that they also hurt me with their actions or comments. However, I never give myself permission to believe that I know it all, or that I understand all that is going on behind the scenes. Accepting that we are limited is the first wise thing that everyone can do. However, there is more to do on our side than just becoming aware of our limitations, and I would like to discuss these other matters in the second part of this topic.

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