“Are you happy with your life right now? If not, then this means you have been avoiding learning your lessons. If you are unhappy with you love life, that’s because you must learn something. Please allow me to teach you what you need to learn and how to be happy.” These were some of the words that were delivered by this online free love report. There are so many of these online tests that automatically generate such reports making people believe that somehow, someone, somewhere can predict their future, and maybe, someone can even help them change their future or the bad luck in career, finances, or love. These reports are prepared in a very sophisticated way that even though they use general words, yet these statements seem to apply to anyone, in any situation. I pay close attention, not only to these “free reports” but also to any kind of speech (sales speech, motivational speech, electoral speech, conspiracy theory speech) that starts with general statements, designed to first make us nod our heads in approval to what these people say. I find that we are exposed to great danger, and anyone can be easily manipulated by such speeches, if we do not become aware soon enough of one simple fact that is widely used to confuse masses and to make people believe in the truthfulness of the message delivered. This simple fact is very well known and is called “the foot at the door,” and operates like this: When someone tells you something that you agree with, and gets your affirmation two or three times in a raw, within the first couple of sentences of their speech, then this person has already earned your trust that he is telling the truth, and therefore whatever he will share next will also be true. This is the greatest danger we face daily: Deception through information.
Danger comes in different forms, but misinformation is the most dangerous poison that ever existed. This one is fatal because it makes you feel like you willingly decided to make those decisions that could be ruining your life, as well as the lives of those in contact with you, and you would still believe that it was your choice and you did the right thing. It is a known fact that once we make a decision (right or wrong) we want to defend our choice at any cost. It is due to the feelings of guilt that our consciousness would prefer to rather turn a blind eye to our own mistakes than accepting that we were wrong. Therefore, even though it may not be our fault that someone we’ve trusted misinformed us, still, we’d rather justify our actions, keep defending this source of information, than accepting that we were misinformed, hence we made a mistake. The problem is that we all make this mistake; that’s because our main defense mechanism activates to protect our ego from hurt and guilt. It is a shame that our self-defense mechanism created to protect us, can sometimes turn against us, just like the body attacks its immune system when infected by AIDS. Such body is doomed to suffer and destroy itself because of that virus. Likewise, human race can act like an infected body when our self-defense mechanism is triggered, but does not recognize the source of this attack, the deception that came from misinformation.
It is guilt that makes us blind, and many philosophers and psychologists have considered guilt as a sign of weakness in humans. However, I see guilt just like Nietzsche saw it, a sign of a higher spirit that once used to know a lot more, but now, trapped in the world of illusions and disillusions, feels ashamed of its own mistakes. Understanding where the guilt comes from and understanding that avoiding guilt is a necessity to preserve life sometimes (otherwise we humans would willingly end our lives when facing the reality of our own mistakes) then it is time to wake up and become aware that someone or something or certain organizations could be using our defense mechanism and play us into believing any kind of rubbish they want us to believe. With their sophisticated speeches, like the example above, they can convince us that we need their help, or we need their products, or their services to save us from bad luck, or save us from unknown and dangerous sources, or other species. These sophisticated con artists will constantly feed us with information that can make us believe that we are doing something wrong, and our souls need to be saved, or that we are not happy because it is our fault, but they can teach us how to be happy, and so on, and so on.
So how can we realize when someone is trying to manipulate us into believing in something that is not true? How can we become more aware of such schemers? That’s easy. Psychologically makes sense that these schemers want to impress you, and they do not want you to doubt them, therefore their method will distraction. One can be distracted by loud voices, a flood of information not easy to sort out in a short period of time, jumps in their reasoning that scatter your attention all over the place, hence you will not notice their jump from true information to lies. Therefore, to realize all of the above they will use a body language and tone of voice that will make them forceful and bold, almost at your face. They emphasize almost every word when they speak; their voice is not only loud but also with a sense of urgency. They speak as if they own this world, or know everything, or are so successful and everyone knows them already. They leave you no time to doubt their competency or the truthfulness of their message. In short, they seem like a very important person so you would forget to check their credentials. Even if remember to check their credentials on their websites, at the About Us menu, you will be surprised to see that they do not share anything about their education or titles, or researches they have done or are doing, organizations that they belong; nope, they just exist and we must praise God for their existence. They became such experts by experience, or just by writing books. Secondly, they start delivering their poison (misinformation) with general sentences, by either asking you questions to which you will answer with a strong yes; or they will flood you with statistical data, numbers, formulas and charts which it’s impossible to verify; or they will flood you with undeniable facts and evidences that are true but that have nothing to do with the conclusion that they will derive later when they are about to feed you the lies that they want you to buy.
You may have realized on your own by now that such type of speeches are delivered everywhere, in politics, medicine, religious organizations,sales and marketing, in the media, social media, youtube channels, and even in the form of pseudo scientific articles and studies, which try to convince us that we are in danger, and we need protection from them, whomever them may be. The truth is that the only protection we need is from our own guilt. Many of us have learned to accept our mistakes and become flexible at reassessing guilty feelings. Most of all, some of us have learned to say, “Yes, yes, and yes, but no, I do not agree with this part of your speech.” Some people are still waking up and learning from their own mistakes. The fastest way to learn to detect these lies is to accept that you are not perfect, because no one is. Once you accept this, you will soon realize that it is easier to live this way; easier to get along with others; easier to say sorry, to accept that you were wrong; easier to accept that you did not know certain things (or everything) and you are glad that someone brought it to your attention. It is easier to live this way where one does not have to be perfect, or pretend to be perfect, but one is willing to learn more in order to become better. As many people have started to realize that no one is perfect it seems so wonderful to be a normal human. It seems wonderful and deliberating to accept that we have flaws, and that’s just part of life, and that’s what makes our lives beautiful, because it fuels in us the desire to constantly create and constantly try making things better, together. At this point then the question becomes, who did this to us that made us believe that we had to be perfect to be worthy and happy, and why? Who made us believe that being flawed, or different, or unconventional was a mistake?
I will not pretend here that I know the answer to the above question, but I may have a clue, which can guide us to finding that answer. I believe that the great clue is the fact that whoever made us believe that destiny and fate are the same concept is the same source that made us believe that we must be perfect to be worthy. Therefore, when Santa checks his list this year for the naughty or nice, he would be better to define first what nice means, before he strikes out the naughty ones. We need to find out why such categorization among humans of worthy or not worthy occurred, and when it occurred, because it seems to me that it was at that time when these two concepts of fate and destiny became substitutes for one another. This was a mistake because even though we use these two words interchangeably, yet these two words represent two different concepts, in fact two opposite concepts I would say. By mixing them up, and using one for the other, it’s like killing ourselves with our own hands, because once we accept that destiny is destiny and cannot be changed, then so is fate. And if fate cannot be changed, then some joker out there is laughing his head out, because we just surrendered our fate on his hands. Now he (she, it, or they) can sneak up on us and mess up our lives because we cannot blame anyone else but fate. Hence, we must as well believe at this point that those who suffer, that are poor, mistreated, enslaved, or abused, they must have deserved that pain, or it must have been their fate. But, on the other hand, if we say that fate is changeable then also destiny can be changed. Hence, we can make our own destiny, we can take destiny in our own hands. In fact we are free at this point to even blame others for our misfortune, or even better, to make others pay big deal for what they did to us. If we believe that we can take destiny in our own hands then we can also believe that it is up to us to put justice, and punish others in whichever way we think is fair to us. At this point, the joker will not hesitate a bit to create even more misunderstandings between us. Then he can come and deliver us from our sins, or from those who do us injustice, and thus he will be our savior. He can save us by either selling religious dogmas to us, or by selling false services in the name of science and technology even. This joker becomes like god for us when he starts controlling and manipulating our lives. Indeed our lives can be easily controlled and manipulated when we think that we must be perfect in order to be worthy so that others will appreciate us. Once we start believing that we need some standards to assess what is perfect and what is not, we then start sorting people into categories and judge them according to these categories based on money, fame, races, types of bloods, gender, culture or sexual orientations. Whatever kinds of problems that we may encounter when we try to sort people into categories, this joker will always deliver a solution for that problem. He will always be our god, because we are allowing him to be. He will own our lives for as long as we are afraid to accept that we are not perfect and we don’t have to be. He will always be our joker too, because he will constantly spy on us (you think you have privacy? Think again. Technology is quite advanced that can spy on you even in your private moments). As he learns all about our weaknesses, which we try so hard to hide from others, he can then mess up our lives really badly by causing us to turn against one another by accusing each other, hurting each other, judging each other. He will also be our savior though, for as long as we believe that we need to be saved, and that we need to fit into certain category to feel satisfied with life. And this happiness and satisfaction in life will never be reached if we continue to believe in the wrong definition of success, or continue to believe that some of us deserve to go to heaven but some others don’t. He (or she, or them) will have all this power over us for as long as we are confused about the differences between fate and destiny. Destiny and fate are two different things, two opposite sides of the same sword. Please allow me to explain in the following how I distinguish between the two.
To understand the difference between fate and destiny I would like to use the following analogies. Fate is always associated with the word fatal since you do not write fate, it has been written for you (I wonder by whom). Therefore, if it was your fate to get sick, or die, or killed, or abused, then nothing you can do about it, but you can pray and pay those religious organizations to save your soul, or deliver you to heaven after you die; they promise you the everlasting life. Destiny however is not like fate, because destiny is not fatal. Destiny is what you are meant to be and what you are meant to do while reaching or aiming to reach your full potential. If we use the same analogy of the spring that I used in the previous post, then when we press down the spring with our finger the spring would apply the same force on our finger. The moment we let go of the spring, the spring will spring, because that is spring’s destiny; that is what a spring is designed to do. In the same way, humans are different from one another, just as we are similar too, but once we understand our abilities that make us unique, we then understand that each one of us has a distinguished path to take in order to reach our full potentials. With our abilities and talents and different paths we take, we are meant to do great things, and that is our destiny. In other words, the difference between fate and destiny is that fate requires one to be passive and accept it, while destiny cannot be accomplished if one does not take actions to put his (her) talents to use. Fate is calling for total surrender by encouraging us to be passive, destiny is not. Religion pushes people to accept fate and that is why religion of any kind introduces prayer as a form of begging for mercy and crying to be saved from punishment. This form of praying encourages exactly this, the passivity, the surrender. Passivity encourages helplessness, and helpless people would do anything in order to feel safe, because they fear. When in fear people make mistakes and hurt one another. Then they are left to deal with the aftermath of their actions and deal their own guilt. The feeling of guilt may not be as strong as the feeling of fear, however, guilt never goes away, for as long as we refuse to face it. Guilt is like a nagging sensation that’s always there, constantly reminding us that something is not right and it could be our fault. All around, fate is generating and encouraging negativity.
Destiny is quite the opposite from fate, because believing in destiny is to believe that you are meant to follow your passions and your dreams; to believe that you can make your dreams a reality by using your skills and talents, by using the special features that you possess and do great things with these, because that is exactly what it is expected from you to do, great things. Believing in destiny is like Shakespeare said too, “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.” Believing in destiny is like believing that your existence has a purpose. Therefore, we exist to accomplish something, and things are accomplished through actions. Hence we must act in order to fulfill our purpose, and that is our destiny. Hence, quite in contrary from fate, destiny is not passive. Destiny is requiring and expecting you to be active and alert. We can say that one would do better if one surrenders oneself to following one’s destiny in order to fulfill his (her) purpose, but not surrender to the will of others.
In my book “Secret Beyond the Secret,” I have explained that following destiny means to follow a specific path that will make your authentic dreams, which you are most passionate about, to come true. However, in order to realize the right path, the one meant for you and you only, you must first look deep inside yourself and sort out your authentic thoughts that come from your true passions from those thoughts and beliefs that are induced onto you by society, culture, religion, media and social media. Once you know your true desires, you make your wish to deliver your message to the universe, by indicating this way that you are ready to start fulfilling your dreams. As Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” Hence, the moment that you become conscious about of what you truly want in life (Step one of the four-step formula. I explain this formula longer in my book) you also become aware that happiness can be reached by moving forward to reaching your full potential.The moment you become conscious of what you truly wish to do in life and the importance of following these authentic true desires, you deliver your wish to the universe. I call this the second step of the formula. This Pray or Wish step, has a different format from religious prayers, which I have covered in another post, here in my blog. It is at this moment, the moment of delivering your wish (prayer) to the universe that your awareness connects with universe’s collective consciousness. Once your wish is accepted by universal consciousness then it has become part of the universal plan, and rest assure that it will come true, as universe’s energy is in your side. In the next step of this process you do not start making your own plans by doing whatever it takes to make your wishes come true, because now your wish is no longer just yours. Therefore, it would be wrong to consider it as one man’s job. That is why a short moment of break, a period of preparation between making the wish and start taking actions in order to fulfill your wish, is needed. This period (step three of the formula) which I call Dream step, is needed because it is during this period that universe or collective consciousness delivers the right plan and the right messages to you, showing you the exact path that you need to follow. As Shakespeare once said, “We know what we are, but not what we may be.” Hence, before acting we need to wait for signs from the universe that we clarify to us the path that we need to take. These signs are often recognized by the common name Synchronicity. The last step in fulfilling your destiny is to dare and take actions in fulfilling your dreams. However, there is a risk that we need to become aware of while waiting for the right moment to act. People often risk to lose their opportunities by either hesitate too much and delay taking actions, when they doubt the signals that they receive from the universe, or by acting too quickly, when they have very little clarity on what to do next. This confusion comes from the fact that what we call synchronicity, one of the best way to recognize whether you are supported by the universe or not, can be somehow manipulated by this cosmic joker in the pac, as Jenny Randles calls it in her book “Time Storms.” As I came to know about joker’s existence just recently, I finally realized why synchronicity failed me in so many cases, when I believed that I had enough signs to act and I believed these signs were coming from the universal consciousness, but instead they were not. Being kind of blind to the existence of such joker consciousness in the universe, I believed that if something went wrong in my life and others hurt me the way they did, then this to me meant one of the two things, either it was not my path to follow, as a result I delayed the fulfillment of my destiny, or these people wanted me to fail in fulfilling my destiny, but why? What had I done to them? I often questioned why people would hurt me when they had no motivation and often looked for ways to justify or understand their actions. I often ended up searching for errors in myself and in my own judgment of facts, even doubting my own belief in destiny. I now understand that no side was to blame, either me or them. I understand now how this joker consciousness works and I am planing to talk more about it in the future posts, but for today I just want to share that main feature of this joker consciousness. This kind of consciousness is not good of course, but it is not obvious that wants to hurt you. It is playful, almost joyful but in a sinister way, hence the name joker. It likes to power up people with dreams that seem very beautiful, which may or may not even be their destinies, and that doesn’t really matter because in the end, without any warning, this joker energy will crush people’s plans anyhow. It will drop your hopes abruptly and crush your plans right after building you up first by making you believe that you are special, you are perfect, and you deserve everything, you deserve more than others. It will make you believe that you are very close to reaching your happiness by following the signs this consciousness prepares for you, leading you on the wrong path. In fact, happiness is reached by following our unique paths of our own destinies. Hence, you, me, and everyone else do not need to depend on a self-declared divine beings, or jokers, or invisible entities with an amalgam of psychoses and mental disorders; we do not need to depend on others to realize that we are all special, and there is no need to compete with one another who is more perfect. We do not need to be “perfect” whatever this perfect is, because we can all do something unique and amazing, something we truly like doing by using our talents. Therefore, only inside ourselves we can find what truly makes us happy.