How do we think? Many people may think that this question does not need an explanation, but other people may have an answer, and answers may even be different, which makes me wonder. So how do we think? Do we think in words? Do we think in colors? Do we think in images? Do we think with sounds? Do we think at all? The most common belief is that we think in images, but do we? Try this please. When you wake up in the morning, the first thought that pops up in your mind is to question where you are and what time or day is, right?  Whatever question you would ask yourself at the moment of waking up, it is the answer to that question that will help you become aware of your environment, the moment after you became conscious of your existence. Every morning you ask yourself the same questions in order to shake up that feeling of disorientation. One got to ask oneself the question, why the heck we become disoriented after we sleep? But, that’s another topic and needs some longer explanations, which I would love to cover in the future when the occasion arrives, and I also explain this in my books.

For now let’s concentrate on the first moment you wake up and you start thinking. If you would try to retrieve that moment, that very first moment when you open your eyes and start asking, “Where am I?” what do you remember about that moment? How is your first thought realized every morning? Is it in words that pop up in your mind “Where- Am-I-?” or is it an image that represents the question “Where am I?” or is it a sound, or a color? So what do you remember? Let me make it easier for you. You remember nothing, because that very first thought is nothing like anything that belongs to the physical world, because that thought belongs to the metaphysical world, a world beyond the physical world, the one tangible and reachable to us. Yet, even though not of this physical reality, this thought popped up in your mind, and you cannot deny its existence, because based on this first impulse you will build up the rest of your day. The rest of your day is filled with memories and images, and sounds, and colors. It’s filled with emotions and decisions you make, it’s filled with daydreaming and planning your future, or other people’s future. Yes we are strange like that. We can’t even figure out where we get our own thoughts but we are able to figure out how other people’s lives should look like, and we think that we can even decide wither their lives should be like hell or paradise, depending how you feel about that other person. But let’s come back to our question.

How does the first thought feel like? We do not know how it feels, but we know that it is something that triggers a response, and demands an answer. The answer derives by looking around and scanning the room and making conclusions like, “Oh, I am in my bed and it is dark outside, so I must have more time to sleep,” or “What the heck? Why am I on a stable with horses?” Just kidding, hope you never had to wake up like that. So, your first thought felt like an impulse, like an urge that drove you to search for answers. You answers were derived after you scanned the room and gathered further information about your current situation. That means that you received sensations from the environment around, and as these sensations arrived in your brain, in the form of images like this is “a bed,” you then turned this mage into a perception “a familiar bed,” and then a conclusion “I am lying in my bed, in my room, at my own house or rented apartment.” These images as you can see are just sensations that we retrieve from the environment using our senses, in this case our visual senses, and then images will form a perception, and perception forms a conclusion. A conclusion will derive an action to either go back to sleep, or jump out of bed. This is all known and explained by psychology, that’s how I know it, but the question that science has not answered yet is about the first impulse, the first thought of the day, or the first thought that made human a human about thousands years ago, and that makes us humans every morning after waking up from our nightly beauty sleep. That very first thought feels like an impulse that has no color, no sound, no sensation, no vibration, nothing. It doesn’t even feel like a flash of light coming from a light bulb above our heads, like in every cartoon movie. Those people are liars, I tell you.

So, the first thought felt like nothing but triggered some questions that if we would have to materialize those questions we would use words like Where, Am, I, Now. We materialize that thought by digging into our memory and finding the exact words that would reflect what we are asking and how we are feeling at that moment. If you are not English native speaking but let’s say you are an Albanian or an Italian then your words would be different from those above, because as you dig down to your memory you would use different words that will help you materialize that thought. For example an Albanian would use these words: Ku Jam? An Italian would use other words instead: Dove Sono?

So here we are at this point: We do not think in colors, or words or sounds, or flashes of visible lights, but we try to formulate our thoughts and our feelings by using familiar codes, images, words, or even colors that are saved in our permanent memory and we have access to them. Now what do we do with that information that we retrieve from our permanent memory may be quite a different story for different people. For example, I may wake up on Friday morning and after asking myself, “Where am I?”, and after recalling that I do not work on Fridays, I may decide to go back to sleep. Someone else however, would make a different decision from mine, because they remember that they work on Fridays. In the same way we make different decisions, step after step after step, all day long. These decisions are based on one’s priorities that derive from previous memories, saved in one’s brain in the form of algorithms. So, in my case, I work every day of the week except for Fridays and Weekends, because my priorities shape my life style, in a way that I enjoy it. But, what makes me choose this life style, and what makes someone else enjoy or choose a different life style from mine? Don’t we all live in the same society that demands us working day after day after day? Yes, indeed we do, but my priority is to write my thoughts down, or to do some research, because working four days of the week for me is a mean to an end, to have enough money to pay my bills. For someone else however, money may be their priority, instead of having this extra time for research, reading, and writing. Hence, our priorities are derived from a special feeling that comes from inside of us, the invisible world of ours, and that motivates and inspires us to make certain decisions, and that makes us different from one another.

In my case then, my invisible world is built in such a way that it never gave the priority to this material world, it never gave priority to having more money in my account, but to have enough money as to be able to pay my bills. My invisible world is built in a way that it gives priority to satisfying my curiosity first of all, because it would drive me to satisfactions when I am asked hard and challenging questions and then by research I find the solutions. Hence, I loved putting myself in situations that required lots of critical thinking, and it started to show at very early stages of my life where the excitement was derived by solving math and science problems, even though I loved singing and acting too, and yes, I was good at that. I will not deny it, many people said that I was talented and that entertainment should have been a good choice for me, but I gave up on pursuing those not because I did not win any prize and recognition for these talents, because I did receive them to a full satisfaction, but because singing and acting were not my priorities. So at this point I am thinking, if I would have had a twin, would this twin also enjoyed singing and acting? I bet he would. It runs in our genes, from mother’s side. Some talents are indeed inherited, yet, my twin’s priority may not have been the same as mine. If I indeed had a twin, he could have chosen to pursue the career of singing instead of mathematics and science, like I did. So, what would make me different from my twin is not the DNA or the genes, is the way we would choose our priorities, it’s what would excite us the most, not what we are good at.

So, what factor is so crucial in making me excited and pushing me to choose a different priority from that of my twin brother, even though we may be equally good on many things? It is natural to conclude that previous experiences in life, just like Freud suggested, would make me and my twin brother choose different paths. Earlier experiences in life are stored in our permanent memory and these memories will affect our choices and the decisions we make at the present moment, and also our DNA would decide what comes easy to us, but there is, despite all that, something different in me, that would make me experience my past events differently from someone else who may have had the same past like me, and may have gone through the same experiences in life. To illustrate this idea let’s imagine three babies crying. These babies, however, don’t need a diaper change or to be fed. Let’s imagine that these three babies have a need for something different that it’s not obvious to the caregiver’s eyes. Maybe they need some cuddling, or they cry because they realized that they cannot move on their own to change the position and to make themselves more comfortable, or to scratch their itchy heads and butts. So these babies have the same experience at this moment but the caregiver is not helping them, because the caregiver asks herself these three simple questions, “Does baby need a diaper change?” No, “Does baby need to be fed?” No, “Is baby feeling sick, and has fever?” No, then let them cry, until they learn to soothe themselves. All three babies experience some discomfort, and the caregiver(s) does nothing about it. The first baby may cry and cry until he finally falls asleep. This baby learns helplessness, in the very first day of his life. This baby’s first belief system about life as a human would be, “Life sucks, but there is nothing I can do.” The second baby may decide to cry, and cry, and cry louder until the caregiver would do something about it. But, if the caregiver does nothing, then the second baby’s first belief system about life would be, “Life sucks, and no one helps you here, so wait until I am able to move on my own and take matters in my own hands.” We can see at this point how by not giving our babies full attention, which they deserve, due to life circumstances of course, we are forcing the new generation into either depression and helplessness, or into violence and surviving mode at any cost, even at the cost of others’ lives.

Both these extreme attitudes toward life and others have an equal chance, and can be derived as a result of the same experience at the early part of life, just as Freud suggested. However, Freud’s theory cannot explain why two extreme conclusions, why not the same conclusion for the same experience? Freud would have answered that it is because these two babies have different personalities, but we can oppose Freud with his own definition on personality that indicated that personality is not born with the person, but it is developed during the early years of life. So, what about the babies that cry at their first day of their lives? Why do they make different decisions? Why would one of the babies stop crying after realizing that the help would not arrive, while the other baby will continue to cry until something is done? And what about the third baby? I haven’t forgotten that baby, because that baby was me, and here is my little story.

My parents told me that I was always a quiet child that they often forgot that I was even present in the room, but as a baby I had a distinguished cry, as my mom told me. Even though I was separated from my mom for a month after I was born, and was given to her only at feeding hours, she could recognize my cry among all the other babies held in a separate place, because I was not crying loud like others. I was crying as if I was longing, and was asking for help with my last breath, she said. We stayed in the hospital for the whole month after my birth because first of all I was born dead, but then by miracle I gave a faint cry, after being dangled upside down and slapped many times on the butt. Then they said I had to stay longer under observation because I was too weak, too flat, as if squished by two plates, and even too blue from the shock of my birth, and then my mom got sick too. Therefore we stayed longer in the hospital, but separated from one another, as my mom tells me. However, even though separated my mom could recognize my voice when crying and would ask the nurses to check up on me. Being the veteran of the nursery, and I guess because they felt sorry for me too, for the distinguished way that I cried, nurses came and checked up on me all the time, and my mom was constantly updated about the reasons why I was crying and how they took care of it. I may have learned at the early stage of my life that “Life sucks, but crying gently and then waiting, it may help to resolve the problem.” I may have learned to trust that my prayers will be answered and the help will always arrive, who knows? So we can say that Freud was right, that early experiences will influence the way one perceives the world in the future. Early experiences may influence the way we make our decisions in the present, but these early experiences do not explain why one baby decided to fall asleep and soothe himself after crying, while the other baby never stops crying, but such baby can become even louder each time, especially if he realizes that the louder he screams the faster the help will arrive? And why did I decide to give just a faint cry, a gentle cry, like that of one suffering at the edge of dying, as my mother told me? Why wasn’t I aggressive, or why didn’t I give up? What made me decide to hold on, until the help arrived? Could it be that our decisions are not driven by DNA, or by our early experiences, but instead, may also be driven by something else, which we call soul, or personality?

The question is, how would our personality or consciousness (soul) effect our decisions that we make? The answer could be found by analyzing the very first moment when we wake up in the morning. If this first thought feels like nothing we know of, but it feels more like an impulse, and it’s not made of words, or images, or colors, or sounds, but it is more like a sensation of some on and off switch button, then how does this happen? The same thing repeats when we go to sleep too. In one moment we are lying on our bed, then all of a sudden our consciousness goes off, and we do not remember the moment when this happened and how it happened. It is this weird and unexplained sensation that has derived some people to believe that we are like programs living in a matrix world, or we are hooked up in a virtual reality and have lost sense of reality, our physical reality. These conspiracy theories are derived exactly because they do not have an answer for this on and off switch that we experience. However, not knowing all the facts does not make these conclusions right.

I oppose such theories because I have found a reason as why it feels that way to us, as if we have an on and off switch, and I have tried to explain this in my antimatter hypothesis. Our human consciousness, as it is discussed lately by many scientists, it may be in a form of electronic magnetic field. Therefore, when we become conscious, in other words when we switch on, it could be because of this magnetic field of “our soul” starts rotating and as a result of this rotation the free electrons, available in the surrounding area of this spinning magnetic field, will start moving. When free electrons start moving, they will bombard a certain nerve or area of the brain and this will feel like an impulse. This impulse will cause us to question this sensation, and in order to answer that, we would like to gather information. We gather information by opening our eyes and collecting the data from the environment around us, and later interpreting the data by concluding that “There is nothing to worry about, I am in my bed.” Or “What is this unknown place with horses and hay?” And if one’s eyes are blindfolded that one would try to collect information by using other senses. And, if it is very quiet and one cannot collect any information using normal senses then one would try to dig deeper into the memory of last night, by questioning and trying to remember what one did last? Where did one fall asleep or lost one’s consciousness last? All these questions are felt in the form of impulses, but the answers are produced in the form of words, sounds, and images.

So far, we can say that because our human consciousness is an electromagnetic field (EM), as it is discussed by science nowadays, then this EM must be also rotating, and(or) something must be causing it to rotate at those specific times when we turn on and off. It is this EM, that our personality is made of and it is not just an accumulation of this life’s experiences, nor is it just the result of our DNA, because this energy field makes us quite unique from the very first moment that we are born and we ask for help or demand to be helped. It is also this EM field that makes me unique and different from my twin, or even different from my clone, if indeed such technology exists or would exist one day. But, how can I prove that my clone would indeed be a different person from me, myself? Well, here is how. If I indeed would have my hands on such advanced technology and would clone myself today, and this clone would look just like me and have the exact same memories I do, up to this point in my life, then I should expect that my clone would also have the same talents that I have, based on the same DNA. But would my clone have a soul? Would my clone think, feel, act like me, and make the same decisions like I do, based on my principles? Could this clone of mine, even if it has soul, be as empathic as me, as good as I am when it comes to judging situations and circumstances rather than judging other people, would it try to understand others’ problems or would she be acting like my evil twin, or even something in between? I would be terrified if someone shows up one day and has the same features as I do and acts like I do too. I would be terrified, because I know that my soul is unique and that anything can be copied and duplicated but not my soul. Hence, cloning could theoretically create a parallel universe, and I am not and must not be part of it. Not because if I touch my clone we would explode, but because indeed we are not the same person, and don’t have the same souls. Therefore, I must not influence this other person’s decisions, because those decisions are not mine to make, and her lessons are not mine to derive. I have my own soul and my own lessons to derive. Why am I convinced that this would be the case, if one day we make this stupid decision to clone people, believing that perfection is achieved by perfecting the DNA? That’s because as we questioned it earlier with the example of the three babies, the soul is not created at the moment we are born. The soul already existed and by living this life, in this body, this soul only gathers information that would be used in the next life. Hence, my decisions in this life are therefore effected by the decisions, information and the conclusions that I made in my previous lives. They exist in my soul as part of my code, the invisible code of zeros and ones that we all carry on in personalities, which we call souls. It is this EM field that makes me special, unique, different from others, and that predicts my destiny. It is this energy that gives me the first impulse in every thought I think and therefore urges me to make certain decisions, or feel certain ways, which is different from others, despite the same experiences we may have. The thoughts and feelings that I produce as a result of my personality (soul) or EM if you wish to call it that way, can become tangible in this 3 dimensional reality by using the same sounds, words, colors and images that all others use in this reality in order to express our feelings and thoughts at this present time, but that are also a reflection of accumulated thoughts and feelings I carry on in my EM from all the previous lives. And with all those good feelings and enormous information one carries from previous lives, he or she could also carry grudges from the past lives. And based on the laws of physics, which I have tried to explain in my book “The Twelve Laws that Define a Human,” my EM field (personality) will rotate (spin) at different speed or frequency, and therefore would be creating different effects in me, different feelings, urges, passions, than others, making me this way unique. It is this soul, this EM which is specifically mine, that made my cry different from others babies, and that made my mom able to distinguish my cry among all the cries. Hence, my clone, even though she may have the same memories of this life as I do, my clone does not experience these memories the same way that I do, and does not derive the same conclusions that I have derived from those experiences, because my clone does not have my soul. Sooner or later, the clone will show its true nature in the way she will start behaving and in the conclusions she will derive, and the motivations for those decisions that she will make will definitely be different from mine.

So, how do we think and how do we make our decisions? We think and we make our decisions not only based on what our DNA dictates in us in terms of what pleases us, on what we feel attracted to, or the talents that we may have inherited from our parents’ genes, but also experiences we accumulate in life and the decisions we derive based on these experiences, will also affect our thinking and decisions, just as Freud concluded. However, there is also another third factor that has not been taken in consideration yet and it should. That factor is our soul as a reservoir of the previous lives’ experiences and philosophies we held about life, people, reality, and God. One can’t help but noticed how people of different cultures and religions are breaking the barriers of separations and have become more open minded of other cultures and beliefs, as if they lived those cultures and beliefs in the past. Could it be that because of the accumulation of experiences from previous lives, our new generations are now questioning dogmas and morals of those religions or cultures they are now born into? I think so. And if you think the same way as I do regarding this matter, and if you too reach the same conclusions that I’ve reached, yet this does not make me you and does not make you me. That’s because we have different souls, different EM fields around us. And for as long as these are different we will experience different realities, or will experience the same reality in different ways. The day that you and I will become the same, think the same, feel the same, look the same, and have all the previous memories just the same, hence we will make the decisions about the future just the same, then we will no longer exist as two separate individuals. I cannot speculate about this new existence, or where it may lead us, but I can say that Descartes was right when he said, “Cogito ergo sum,”; I think therefore I exist. But I also want to be more specific by saying: Ego contra sentio, ergo sum. In other words, in this reality I exist because I think and perceive it my own way. I must experience this reality from my own point of view so that I can learn what’s important to me and then change my previously wrong perspectives about life and reality.

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