Last night I went to the theater to watch Gods of Egypt movie. Something about gods and ancient myths fascinates me. I had always been a book worm. By the age of 10 I had read all the books appropriate for my age that were available at the public library in my city. I started digging into the book collection we had at home, and with my dad’s help in selecting what was appropriate, some fascinating books about adventures and science fiction opened a new window in my life. Those were Jules Verne’s books. I fell in love with science but not just science. I fell in love with captain Nemo, that quiet, knowledgeable, mysterious, handsome, strong, coldhearted, yet soft spirit man. The one who was hiding himself from humanity for the pain it has caused him in losing his wife and his kids. For these reasons Captain Nemo decided to live all his life in his submarine, under the sea, away from human’s vicious eyes. Can I dare say that I am still in love with this fiction character? Anyhow, this post is not about him though. Maybe another time I will talk about the man in my heart, or brain. But, as I finished reading all Jules Verne’s books I was thirsty for more adventures…I was 15 at that time where in our book collection at home I found a book that from its title captured me. It was called Uarda. This book was a translation from English to Albanian of course. I was captured by this book for some unknown reasons, and I am thinking it was probably that part of it reminded me of my name. And that book signed the beginning of my journey of falling in love with ancient stories and what people were thinking about God or gods and how human thinking and perception about them changed over the years.

Uarda, was the initiation of my journey into the past. Uarda. For those who know me, they probably know this weird fact about me, because I talk about it a lot, that Uarda is my favorite book and that I have read Uarda, not one time, but four or five times. Actually, I am losing counts…I kept going back to this book, because it fascinated me. And the funny thing is that what fascinated me was not the story about this poor girl Uarda who was dying as she was crushed by the chariot of the princess of Egypt. What fascinated me in this book was human logic and human beliefs. I was fascinated by the debate between the priest and the young doctor that had opposite views about life and gods and what is worthy and what is not. I was totally captured by such discussions. This is the reason I loved this book so much, Uarda. This book raised many philosophical questions for me as I was reading it, and each time I read it, I discovered new facts about that historical period in Egypt. Even when I moved to Canada, the only book I took with me was Uarda. And so last night, I had to relive Uarda’s story all over again. I was full of emotions at the end of it and could not understand why. Why would stories of ancient gods, either of Egypt or Greece capture me and fascinate me, and enchant me to the point that I feel like I have been part of all those stories. I feel I was the poor girl, and then I was the princess, and then I was the queen too. I am all of those girls, in every story I read, because at the bottom of all those stories one thing matters the most. That is called Love.

I realized last night that my heart longs to be loved and recognized by a prince, a knight, a thief even but that never stops searching for his love and never stops showing her how much he needs her. I am all those characters because deep in my unconsciousness I carry those stories with me, wherever I go and in whatever life I find myself living. Like me, you too are connected to this collective unconsciousness or collective consciousness as Dr. Jung called it. We all are connected and we all live and relive these painful stories of an interrupted and never fulfilled love. I think it is time to change the page of that story and make these two lovers meet each other again and love and respect one another with new adventures, challenges and excitements ahead of them, but without separating them anymore. Let’s see how this story will excite us in the future if these two lovers do not separate, but continue to support one another, if two lovers do not lose one another, yet their love is always threatened. Let’s keep these two lovers together in our memories. Let’s rewrite this story by imagining them together for ever, making love and feeling fulfilled, satisfied with one another yet thirsty again and again for one another, just like the ocean and land never separate from one another, yet they always feel thirsty for one another. Keep imagining just the end of the story, when they find one another, and passionately kiss. We do not need to imagine how the story started and why they were separated. We had enough of that, let’s move on to a new beginning. Keep lovers together in your mind, in your imagination. I beg you. Because if you do, the future will be so wonderful, marvelous, exiting, so fulfilling and yet thirsty for more….It’s a new beginning that we can make it happen by using our imagination…

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