In the previous posts we concluded that the purpose of our existence is not only the increase of awareness for each individual, but also for the whole community. This brought the need to find a strong motivation that would create a momentum which then will cause change and growth. Then, we concluded that love or erotic state of mind is that state that can indeed create a strong emotion and such can cause movement, change, growth and fulfillment. However, if this progress is delayed or prevented for some reasons then this accumulated energy unfortunately can cause disasters instead of positive changes. The way this progress can be delayed or prevented is through miscommunication. The reasons for miscommunication are so many.

Some errors in communication can occur when there is lack of knowledge, other errors occur due to emotional state of each individual, other miscommunication occur due to previous experiences and bad memories stored in one’s mind, and some other miscommunication can occur due to ill intentions of others. While other types of communication errors are all manageable and in time these misunderstandings will be clarified, the errors caused due to manipulations and ill intentions of others are hard to detect and fix. Therefore, the first step toward minimizing such errors is to understand the reasons behind these manipulations. It is obvious that if someone willingly decides to change the facts in order to get others to conclude what they want them to conclude, then the reasons for doing so−excluding the cases of mental illness−is either fear or the need for personal profit. This reminds me of one of the famous sayings by Napoleon Bonaparte, “Men are moved by two levers only: fear and self-interest.”

Fear is one factor that could definitely trigger the self defense mechanism in any individual. In some individuals this self-defense mechanism is to hide or manipulate facts so that their mistakes are not revealed. Fear can even drive the individual into aggression. Hence Freud was kind of right when he said that one of our basic instincts that drives human consciousness is aggression. I say kind of right, because as you can see aggression is not the driver, aggression is the reaction due to another driver, which is fear. And if we look deeper, fear is also a reaction, an emotion that is triggered due to a feeling that comes from deep inside the individual’s sub-consciousness.

Just a quick note here: emotions and feelings are not the same thing. Emotion is a reaction of the body that is short lived and it is related to a memory, a subject, object or event. Therefore emotions are triggered by outside stimuli. Feelings (or sometimes known as moods) are not triggered by outside events, and are not short lived. Feelings are constant part of individual’s sub-consciousness mind that affect individual’s cognitive thinking by manifesting themselves as what is known by psychologists as automatic thoughts.

So, getting back to our argument, if aggressiveness is a reaction to fear, and fear is not the primal driver, but a necessity to protect ourselves which is triggered by our own self-defense mechanism, then the whole issue is now reduced to our own subconscious mind. If indeed there are some feelings that we carry with us all the time but we prefer to ignore their existence by burying them deep in our subconscious mind, then these feelings will be over reacting every time an individual will face similar situations to the one that created that feeling in the first place. For example, if one is constantly abused emotionally when he was a child and let’s say this individual was called “looser” by his own siblings or friends, then this individual’s worst nightmare is making the wrong impression onto others and he will constantly worry if others are perceiving him as an incompetent or unable to succeed. In such cases, this individual will never accept his mistakes or errors, until he cures his sub-consciousness from these faulty ideas.

Aggressiveness then is not our basic instincts as Freud said, but it is just a self-defensive way to protect our wellbeing. In fact aggressiveness is a way to protect what we love. Therefore, love is our basic instinct. A mother as soft as the nature has created this being, may indeed become wild and aggressive beyond imagination if the wellbeing of her babies is threatened. Conclusion can be made that aggressiveness is not our human nature or our basic instinct. Sorry Freud, you were wrong at this point. Our need to protect our own existence, to protect what we love is what makes someone aggressive. When there is no threats or there are other alternatives, humans would choose anything else but aggressiveness. Just like in nature, a flower can break a rockie ground but it does this with delicacy, by persisting and finding the weak points, not by shooting up in the air with aggressiveness. Therefore, we come back to what existentialist believe that, for as long there is a purpose in or existence, there is the will to protect this existence at any cost.

To exist or not to exist? Simple, if there is no purpose, if there is nothing to love about your existence then there is no willing to exist. In contrary, if there is a purpose you are pursuing, this means there is something you love about your existence and therefore you are willing to protect it, and so you will continue to exist, willingly. In conclusion, we exist and are willing to exist for as long as we feel LOVE. This brings us to another question, what kind of love are we talking about, self-love, mate-love, or universal love. This will be the topic of my next post and just to give you heads up it includes the theory of attachment and the pyramid of needs.

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