I don’t have an agenda, but my subconscious is loaded with truth and can’t wait to come out. I don’t have any plans, but someone who I call father in heaven has made those plans for me. I am not aware of anything that happened in the past or what the future holds, but I am aware that I am going in the right direction. I am blind, as I only have human eyes. I cannot see inside people’s minds or grudges in their hearts but my soul is not blind, and so my soul leads me and connects and reconnects me with the right people at the right times. I often say things that hurt people to the core, and I do not do this in purpose, I do have the ability to scratch those wounds that people try to hide. Not that I know anything, as I am blind with human eyes, but because I allow my soul to lead, and say what I feel in my heart out of good intentions not out of grudges. So when I feel that intention is right I say what I have to say, which shocks people and even causes pain sometimes. They think I know so much and I do things in purpose. I know nothing of your pain, or of your secrets and skeletons in your closets, I speak the truth as it comes to me without censuring it. Now, how do I know that I speak the truth? Because I do not overanalyze, I do not do or say things to get something for myself, I do not do anything to manipulate others to serve me. I ask nothing of others. I do everything for love. I forgive because I feel love for people who may have been wounded and confused, I say things that hurt people and again it is done for love because wounds will never heal by covering them up, but by taking the bandage off and let the wound feel the fresh air.
I don’t have an agenda, and I am glad to be free. Free from the obligation of having to choose a side. My whole life has been a training field where I had to learn not to choose sides. Being the only child of two parents that I love so much, both so intelligent and so charismatic, constantly arguing and constantly asking me which side I take, I learned to not take sides. I don’t remember the story but my mother keeps telling it that since I was three years old I learned to avoid taking sides. She tells me how one day she got into a fight with my father when I was three because she bought some nice curtains without asking his opinion on spending that money. I was sitting at the corner covering my ears and looking frightened. When my father noticed my misery he told my mom to stop arguing and he came up to me, held me in his arms and as we all three set on the couch he told me why they were arguing. Then he asked, “What do you think? Is daddy right to not spend money without asking first?” Obviously I did not know what to say, come on, I was just three. However, based on my emotions I would have agreed with the one who held me up, noticed my misery and got me out of it. But I loved my mom too, and she was in tears. So which side do I take the strong one that saved me and paid attention to me, or the weak one that was left so vulnerable? So, instead of answering the question I asked my father a question, “But dad, isn’t mom your friend anymore that you make her cry? Don’t you love her anymore?” And obviously, this changed the situation as he at that moment hugged my mom and said, “of course I love her and she is my friend.”
And so it went all my life. I have been chased by love and obligation, always two at the same time, and had a very hard time choosing. I learned to not take sides. I stand in the middle. Often I may swing on either side, but I come back to where my soul leads me. In the middle is where the balance is found. Do not follow norms, and rules or secrets. People’s definitions of good or bad, nice or naughty, evil or pure are always questionable. The truth is found in love. Where is love in your heart you will find your balance. Follow it before it is too late.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s