Do not teach your child to stand up to a bully, teach them to love and understand instead.
If you have ever been a victim of bullying you may think that I am crazy or that I never been a victim before. It’s neither of those, but I found that love is more efficient than hate. I discovered this by chance, but later as I developed my Theory of Antimatter I understood why love works. So let me explain how love or hate works. Our thoughts are electromagnetic energy and as such they spread around us in the same way a magnetic field will spread. We cannot see energy, or magnetic fields, or any type of radiation that goes beyond the absolute threshold of our senses, but we can feel the end result of these energies. For example, one person enters a room full of people thinking, “These people are not worth my time, but I have to deal with them anyhow,” everyone in the room will feel inferior without explaining why. A perfect example for this is Donald Tramp. He does not need to speak a word for everyone to understand that Donald Tramp feels superior to them. Another person enters the room thinking, “I am so nervous, so many important people, I don’t know what to do.” Well, no one will care about this person as indeed, he or she is already feeling inferior and is spreading that energy around himself/herself. One enters the room thinking, “I am the funniest man alive,” and guess what, a person that thinks this way does not need to speak a word and people will still think he is funny. Classical example is Jim Carry. A person enters the room thinking, “I am the silliest man alive,” classical example, Mr. Bean. And my list can go on and on but you have to try it for yourself. Think of a quality that you believe you have and start communicating with others without pointing out that quality and be surprised how people will catch up with your thoughts without you saying a word; just by thinking it. When you do this my friend and learn how powerful your thoughts are, then it is in your hands to change world’s violence into love.
Now, why would you love someone instead of criticizing someone for their attitudes? My answer is, because you do not know someone’s pain, reasons for their actions, humiliation that they went through in life. Sure, you can use your thoughts to scold or criticize someone’s actions but that energy will be reflected back with the same amount of reprimanding, hate and criticism towards you. When you criticize someone, the self defense mechanism of fear will be triggered on this person. And, when someone fears the judgment of others, then fear becomes the only motivation for this person’s further actions either in defense or attack. Fear is the emotion we should all fear the most, because one who acts of fear is like an animal in surviving mode and so this person will stop at nothing to protect oneself from whatever one fears.
So, the bottom line is that we communicate with our thoughts more than we communicate with words and the worst part is that we are not aware of doing so. Once we become aware of the fact that thoughts are way more powerful than words than we will realize that there is no need to lie to others. Our vulnerability is obvious, our lies are obvious, our love and hate are obvious too. The only problem is that we communicate our thoughts randomly to others but since thoughts are invisible, we start fooling ourselves into believing that no one can get inside our heads. Indeed, no one can get inside our heads because they do not need to; your thoughts are already in other people’s heads, as every thought is energy, electromagnetic energy. So, the more negative thoughts we produce, the more violent the world will become; the more positive thoughts we produce the more peaceful the world will become. Therefore, teaching our children to stand up to a bully is the worst thing you can do to maintain peace. Peace is not the same as fear, peace is the opposite of fear. Hence, if you try to stand up to a bully then all you are trying to achieve is produce fear inside the bully’s head so he or she will leave you alone. Sort of like marking your territories, just like animals do. You see the point? Animals do this because animals do not have the luxury of communicating reasonable thoughts, then why do we allow ourselves to fall to the levels of unreasonable beings?
So, knowing that thoughts are very powerful indeed, I teach my children not to judge. I teach them to love and understand others instead. Just the other day my daughter came home worried about her friend’s behavior in class. He had been very unruly from the beginning of school, but things are getting out of hand lately. Her teacher had to ask all the children to leave class immediately so no one would get hurt while this unruly child started flinging things around the room. I expected that things would accelerate to this point one day, but did not expect that to happen so quickly. When my daughter told me about this friend in class earlier in the semester, that he is bullying others, calling them losers, and making loud noises and funny noises in class, I asked her not to judge her friend. I asked her not to feel hurt by his comments either. Instead I asked my daughter to trace her actions and find out if she and other friends have hurt this boy’s feelings somehow. She admitted that they all criticize this boy, tell him that he is doing things wrong, but he never listens to any of them. But, of course, why would someone listen to people who do not listen or understand his pain first of all? This child needs some attention and shown some love first, so he would calm down and realize that world is not such a horrible place. If we deny this basic need to a child, the need to be understood, to share his pain, to learn to communicate his feelings through words not actions, then we should not be surprised that we are raising a generation of psychopaths, anti-socials, and tyrants.
I was just teaching the hierarchy of needs to my class the other day, and I find this pyramid of needs so true. Therefore, based on this theory of Maslow, people could be at different parts on that pyramid of needs. And so, if one is in need to be accepted, loved and belonging but one is denied of this need, then we ourselves have pushed this person into a very dangerous zone. Some, who are denied of love and feel isolated by the rest of community due to stereotyping and judgments, may fall into depression; others may start feeling hate for everyone else around them. The more you judge them, the more they will hate everyone. In my whole life I never stood up to a bully with hate. I did not fear them either. I try to make my point to them and it never crosses my mind that the person who’s bullying me is evil, bad, and judgmental. I think that the person who bullies me is in fact scared of me and of my judgment, so I try to show them (him/her) that I am open to understanding them. I found it ridiculous how people can think that they are more powerful than God. When my willingness to understand these bullies does not work, I pray to God to get them out of my way, and then patiently wait for them to be swiped away from my path. And things are always taken care of for me. Give it a try my friend. Be open to understand others instead of judging them, and if nothing works, pray to God for your safety and walk away. As I do this and things always turn out for better, I therefore learned to not hold grudges and I am teaching my children the same thing. If in doubt what to do, the best way is spread love. Think of the person in front of you as a person in need of love instead of a person in need of power, then pray to God to help you and him/her to find peace. After all this I encourage you to just walk away. Why? Because, it is not your job to fix things and make matters better. You are but a spec in the universe, so keep that in mind before giving yourself the right to fix this world. Only love for one another and God’s energy can make things right. Allow that to happen my friends.