“Love your enemy.” Is it possible? Can humans really do it?

When we hear one of the most common teachings of Jesus” love your enemy, love the ones who hurt you, and pray for them so they would become nice people too” everyone has the right to think that Jesus must have been a lunatic. Or better yet, he must have been out of this world. Who in their right mind would love their enemy? Who in their right mind would go into war and tell the soldier of the opposite side, “Kill me if you have to, but I love you?” Obviously, this is not common behavior for humans, therefore based on this simple logic if Jesus was not crazy then he must not have been human at all. Well, I would disagree with both points of views and I would choose to believe a third one; that Jesus was human and still Jesus was right. So, let me explain, but first I have to agree that what he was preaching “love your enemy” is not quite a normal human behavior. We humans have emotions and when we get hurt, we follow a logical conclusion that the person who hurt us must be bad, and if the person is bad, we must hate him/her and hurt him or her back to establish justice. Unfortunately, due to our emotional state we fail to realize that hate is not the solution to our problem. In fact, this hate will make our problems even bigger than they truly are. And that’s what I am going to explain in this post: why is it wrong to hate and if that is wrong then what would be the solution instead?

So, I will start with the fact that hate is wrong. I believe most people know the law of karma “what goes around comes around.”  For those who do not know or have not heard about this law, I believe that the expression itself “what goes around, comes around” is a self-explanatory. This means that when you do bad things to someone, someone else will do bad things to you. Therefore, the same one must apply when you do good deeds. Karma is one of the laws of living. It is like the law of energy, so well-known in physics that states that energy never disappears to nothing or appears from nothing. Therefore, some negative energy that might be affecting your life now might be as a result of your previous actions. But in life it is hard to remember all the situations that you went through and how many times you hated people (unfairly) and therefore the same amount of people will hate you for no reasons, it seems. Well, let’s not get carried away. The law doesn’t really apply this way. It is more like an induction that you learned in physics (electricity). If you imagine yourself as a balloon charged with negative energy (hate in our case), once you touch someone else’s balloon, your balloon is discharged but the other one gets charged with negative electrons. And this process continues on and on and on. But you see, it only continues if you touch someone, which means your actions affect others. So, yes we are human, and we all have those moments of feeling down, feeling hate, negative, emotional, but we can also use our logic. We can reason that charging another balloon with this negative energy, will not really solve the problem, will it?

So, if you understood the first part that hate is not the solution to our problems then the opposite must be the solution. Would love really solve this problem? Isn’t it a bit too much to ask that from humans? Is it possible to love and turn negatively charged balloons into positively charged? Well, the answer to all of the above questions is yes, yes and yes. Love is the only solution and even though it might seem too much to ask, WE can do it. We can love, even during the moments of pain. Think for a moment when a mother or father tells their little one to clean up the room because it is time to go to bed. Some children are very well trained and will do what parents ask them to do, but some others might start crying and give their parents a very hard time indeed. These little ones might even use sharp words “It’s not fair,” or “I hate you.” But, you as a parent know better and you don’t get angry at your little ones, you don’t judge them for their anger, and you don’t hate them because they hate you at that moment, right? It’s easy not to hate your children when they complain and tell you that you are not fair for interrupting their fun time by asking them to clean up and get ready for bed. It’s easy to still love your children because your perception, your understanding of the situation stands above your children’s logical conclusions. You know that the end result of what you are asking your children to do is indeed the right thing to do. Once the children are in bed, and they finally settle down and get the required amount of sleep to rejuvenate their little bodies, you will feel good too as a parent. However, your children may still be questioning your decisions the next day, again. And you as a parent conclude that you cannot argue with little children. You cannot start a conversation trying to make them reason as why they need to sleep every night to get the right amount of sleep that is necessary for them. All that a little child is able to comprehend is that at that moment he is interrupted from having fun. In my opinion therefore, it is not worth arguing with someone who cannot reason any further. It is not worth punishing them either, they do not get it.

I mentioned this story above parent-child relationship, hoping that you can see that being treated unfairly depends on the point of view and that judging a situation unfairly is very common and it’s so human. Just because as adults we reason more than a child that does not mean that all humans are at the same level of understanding, unfortunately. What complicates matters even more is the fact that many of us may be influenced by other people who declare that they know more than others, and often end up being spiritual leaders or motivational speakers and so on. And this is not something new, because in all human history very often some groups of people have followed the wrong leaders, and judged wrongly those who joined the opposite sides. These people just like children, cannot see beyond of what they are capable to perceive. All the see is that the opposite side is preventing them to accomplish what they wanted to achieve.

At this point, you might also say, “the situation is a bit different when you’re dealing with adults.” And, I would say that you are absolutely right. An adult is not a child and therefore an adult that doesn’t understand all the facts has the power to destroy you and hurt you. However, the best solution is not to argue and try to hurt them back. For many reasons this reaction would be wrong. First of all, hate and revenge will bring more hurt and since every action has an opposite contra-reactions, as one of the laws of nature, then you should expect this anger, hate and revenge to continue. Secondly, during the process of fighting and hating one another, you might be hurting innocent people, bystanders, or even those who could be on the verge of understanding your point of view and change their perspectives about you. Thirdly, since you cannot argue with someone that is not capable of understanding your point of view yet, then the best solution is to just walk away from the argument and pray that God will give them wisdom, and clarify their understandings. So should we love our enemies? I guess, if you see it from this point of view, then love is the only solution, but not in the meaning that you leave yourself unprotected in the hands of your enemy or those who don’t understand you. History has proven that too much trust on human’s good spirit was not wise. When someone hurts you once and have the tendency and/or the power to hurt you again then love them, sure, but be smart. Walk away from them and love them from a distance. Once you distance yourself from the situation you can see what the problem is and try to find better solutions in the future.


end of chapter

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